Changes...

So, many changes have happened in the last year. I have gone from a mommy of two beautiful twin boys to a mommy of two incredibly energetic toddlers and now have one on the way.
We have moved back to where I belong...in Ventura. And I have been able to reunite with old friends who I haven't seen in ages.
It is funny how when you become a wife and a mommy so many people seem to walk out of your life. It is like we carry a Scarlet Letter that loudly proclaims to the world that not only are we off limits to men...but...*gasp* we have children!! And these two things some how have also branded us as "NO FUN".
There are days that I can't help but feel sorry for myself. There are moments...and I mean...fleeting and few and far between moments that I ask myself..."what did I get myself into?" But, when all is said and done I wouldn't trade it for the world. I wouldn't trade in their smiles, their hugs, the way they rest their head on my shoulder. There is not a day that I would rather be belting out "free bird" with a cockatil in my hand instead of singing the joyous songs of alphabet pal.
For my "old" friends, my life is not one of luxury and not one they would EVER desire to have...or at least not for the next 10 years. My life revolves around dirty diapers, teething, nap time and sleepless nights. I have nights that I cry now when I am up until midnight...3 years ago at midnight I was just getting started. My money used to be spent on designer purses and jeans, today that money is better spent buying frilly dresses, "big boy" shoes and toys. There were days when I would spend $100 on dinner and drinks and not blink an eye...now I think of how I could have spent the money more wisely.
But, I love these changes. I love putting my family first. I love waking up to my children and my husband. I take joy in finding THEM things and finding great deals on the clearance rack.
It is funny how life changes things. Changes your perspective. Your motives. Your hopes. Your dreams and your ambitions. Changes...as little or big as they may be...can completely change you as a person...and I suppose it is up to you to embrace the change...or to run from it.

Deployments

Today while shopping with the boys I noticed two men in Seabee uniforms in front of me at Starbucks. They did not yet have crows on their uniform indicating that they were lower ranking individuals...and while I tried not to eavesdrop on their conversation I couldn't help but listen in. They are also shipping out with NMCB 4, my husbands battalion, that was scheduled to be deploying to Japan, but thanks to President Obama and his "troop surge" theory, they will be joining the 20,000 other troops in Afghanistan. These young men, seemed hopeful of a "good time" in the desert...highlighting even more that they were in fact very new to the Navy. For these men, deployment represented a chance to make money, a chance to see new land and a chance to make a difference but for so many of my friends it represents much more than that. It means leaving the ones they love, returning to a world where insurgents cause fear and question on a daily basis. These men are leaving their wives, their children, their girlfriends, their families. And while, being hopeful and optimistic would seem the best tool to get through this...the reality is some of these men may not come back. They will give their everything serving the country that they love. And the young men in front of me made me realize that the same hopeful optimism these men are exhibiting are the same characteristics that were and still are exhibited by all of the men and women serving our country.
They are not given an option to leave, they are told to go. They don't always know when they will leave and with the changes being made right now...are not always sure when they will be back. They aren't always able to talk to or write to the ones that they love, but not a day goes by that they do not think about them. But, in the end they are proud to be fighting for our country, they are happy to help those in need and though they do not look forward to leaving their country behind they can proudly acknowledge that America would not be what it is today without them.
Okay now that I am done spewing my random trainwreck of thoughts on that subject...if you know anyone that is currently deployed please keep this in mind.
Please never say these things...
1.) I don't know how you do it
2.) I could never deal with my husband (or boyfriend, or wife or girlfriend) being gone for that long
3.) Are you scared something will happen to him?
4.) Do you miss him?
5.) I know just how you feel. My husband travels a lot for business.
6.) Do you worry about him cheating on you? How do you go so long without sex?
7.) How do you sleep at night knowing that your husband might have to kill people. Doesn't that scare you?
8.) I am sorry your husband has to be deployed. Don't you just hate the President?
9.)If you truly supported your husband you would be protesting for troop withdrawl so he doesn't deploy again.
10.) I can't believe your husband is doing this to you! If my husband had a job like that I would be so mad at him.

Okay, end of brain sewage for the day. : ) Carry on.