The makings of a good mother

What makes a good mother? Patience? Compassion? Does it mean have well-disciplined children? Or children who don't fuss and cry?Yesterday at Target a woman approached me and gawked over my children and then stared at amazement at my blooming baby belly and said "You must be such a good mother! Your boys are perfect. And to have another on the way? My goodness...bless your heart"And while I took extreme satisfaction in hearing such a compliment from someone old enough to be my grandmother it got me thinking...what have I done to be a "good" mother. I was blessed and by the grace of God have two incredibly well-rounded little boys who couldn't be better behaved if I asked them to. They rarely cry and when they are fussy I am so convinced that "soemthing must be wrong" because fussy is just not in their character. But, did I make them this way? Or is that just their personality. If you ask my husband, or my mother for that matter...I would probaly be deemed crazy their first 6 months of life. I insisted on a reginmented feeding schedule because I was terrified they wouldn't gain weight and kept them co-sleeping with us until I had to place them diagonally in their co-sleeper and hope they wouldn't hit each other in the middle of the night. But, I am certain THAT doesn't make me a good mother and acutally a bit looney looking back on it. I breastfed twins, which was a task in itself and according to the La Leche League and my nursing nurse, THAT alone made me a "good" mother. How? Because I made that decision? Sure, I did it because I was convinced it was giving the boys a healthier start to life but does not breastfeeding make someone a bad mother? Absolutely not!I have tried to live the healthiest life made possible throughout both of my pregnancies...limit my cravings to unhealthy, fattening substances and try to eat as natural as possible convincing myself that a healthy start...starts with me. But, to be honest their is a certain amount of selfishness imbedded in that argument because most of all I really don't want to come out of pregnancy looking much different than I went in, besides some stretch marks and all...but according to my OB my selfish motives make me a "good" mother. There are so many things that I do in my daily life that label me as "good" mother. But, honestly, what does that mean? Because I am certain their are plenty of things that I let my children do or I do myself that would label me as a "bad" mother in the books of some...or in the books of many. My boys pull each others hair, take each others things and wrestle with each other and I allow it. I figure why should I stop. After fighting my husband on the subject I am sticking with his theory of "boys will be boys". Granted when one gets hurt I pick him up and give him love only to set him back down and they go at it again. Letting my children hurt each other can't possibly make me a "good" mother. I take my kids to daycare so I can run errands. That certainly can't put me in the running for the mother of the year award but until I can learn how to balance groceries on my head while navigating a double stroller it is a neccesary evil.I scold my children. Yes, I know they are only one. But, only being one doesn't mean they don't do things that potentially are going to hurt them. So, yes, when I find my child deciding to stand in his chair or pull things off the shelf I yell. Do they understand...not so much. But, it makes me feel better and regardless of whether I sound like a yelling broken record EVENTUALLY they will learn that chairs are for sitting and mommy's wii belongs on the shelf and not on the floor...or potentially their heads. I put my children into daycare so I could go back to work. *gasp* How could I? How could I choose not to be a stay at home mom? Financially, I couldn't. Currently, I am inflicted with the beautiful illness that is HG and am unable to conjure up the energy, immune system or appetite to work right now so fortunately enough I can stay home with my children. People may ask..."did you have children to put them in daycare?" My response...No, I had children because I wanted a family...providing for the family I chose to create as oppossed to living off of welfare is my choice. So, while putting my children in daycare so I could seek employment may not make me the world's greatest mom I do take credit for providing for my family. So...this has become a tangent of all tangents...but honestly...what makes a "good" mother. Does balancing 20 things at once get your name in the running? Because quite honestly, Kate Gossling manages to do that wonderfully but she has the ability to be a TOTAL bitch. Does breastfeeding as long as possible make you a good mother? Because British mommy Jezebel is STILL breastfeeding her 8 year old which I find deplorable and rather disgusting.Does living a healthy lifestyle and ensuring that your family eat healthy make you a good mother? Because honestly, I think it just makes me someone who enjoys my figure and my health and has little to do with my quality of mothering. So...really...what makes a good mother? Yes, I have found patiece in me that I never knew exisisted, have been forced to make life changes to create a better life for my children and have become someone I wouldn't have recognized 5 years ago...but have thense changes made me a "good" mother? Or have they just made me and average one who was blessed with two amazing little boys.