Gossip needn't be false to be evil - there's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around. ~Frank A. Clark

Once upon a time I had a life. A life without children, responsibility or much common sense for who I hurt along the way. A life without a husband. A life without unconditional love and a life without a solid respect for the my reputation. I had a life the involved drinking. Hanging out with friends and throwing virtues to the wind. I gossiped with friends. Hell, I gossiped about friends and to be completely honest I had little concern for anyone except number one...I mean there were a few exceptions...but besides bff's and family...yea, little regard went into people's thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Basically, I was kinda a bitch...and a cruel one at that. If your dirty laundry was aired and drifted my way...if I didn't like you I was sure to send your business in the direction of others. Not because I had nothing better to do, nothing to talk about or no life of my own but because I didn't care about destroying people if it furthered my cause. Harsh, right? Almost sociopathic of me. But, then again I was a completely self-centered, self-righteous and strong willed young woman. I lived for that DAY. Not the next. I am not sure I ever destroyed anyone...with the exception of myself and maybe my reputation. But, I realize that now.
Three years of marriage and 3 children later people who haven't kept up with my business are still amazed to find out that I have settled down. I have lost many individuals along the way that could have been great friends because I had a fierce tongue and an even fiercer attitude. But, that wasn't the person that was in my heart. That was the person those I surrounded myself with convinced me that I was.
You know what they say...one bad apple spoils the bunch.
I am a firm believer...now of never saying anything about someone that you wouldn't sign your name to. Regardless of the validity of a statement it shouldn't be said if it is going to be deterimental the the mental and emotional health of another individual.
As a mother, I look at the bigger picture. I can vividly remember the hurt and pain that rumors and gossip caused my life. I can remember being the shoulder my friends cried on when rumors hurt them and remember being the crier. I remember saying a lot of miserable, nasty and often times very true things about people that once confided in me.
And now when I imagine my daughter in her late teens and early 20's I can only hope that I can teach her how painful rumors are. I hope I can save her from the pain I have felt and hope I can keep her from causing the harm I know I caused.
Rumors and gossip have little power until they are spread among people. Rumors aren't always false...but then again, they aren't always true either. But regardless of validity they hurt. If I could personally go back and apologize to everyone I have hurt I would...but I can't.
So, I will sit here. Be the best possible friend I can be. Be a mother to my children and hope that I can instill some virtue, chastity and empathy in them that they will carry with them throughout the years.