Melt downs. Blow outs and Blow ups.

Have you ever had one of those days where you really "know" like the second you get out of bed that today is NOT going to be a good day? Well, that was my day. I woke up like any other day to grumpy little teething gooses in the room across the hallway. Screaming...not crying just yelling, clearly for no other reason than to get my attention. Chicken was contently sleeping but awoke a couple of moments later with one of those pucked lipped "I am so upset" crys. Fair enough. This was the standard morning in the Mayo house. But, my mommy radar told me it was going to be much worse than standard.
Let me start by saying I am not one to talk about poo...I find it gross, disgusting and nauseating and can still not believe I have been pooped on and puked on...they are lucky they are my children.
So, blow OUT # 1-Brendan. This was truly...the BLOW OUT OF ALL BLOW OUTS. I am not sure what I fed him last night but clearly it did not mix well with his little belly and his diaper was no match for its vengeance. There is no greater horror when it comes to diapers than realizing it is not only UP the back but OUT the sides.
blow OUT # 2-Adelyn. While I was still adjusting my nostrils from blow out number 1...I was eating breakfast...great, right? Well, Adelyn cute as a little button, no joke, passes gas louder than her big brothers. And it makes me laugh. But, there is a very distinct sound between the 'passing gas to pass gas and the passing gas to handle business' noises. Well, these gas sounds were the later of the two and within 10 seconds I smelt that awkwards breastmilk poopy smell that smells like a bad combo of buttered popcorn and mustard. Now that I have assaulted your senses with my graphics I will continue. Well, I picked her up...and realized she was COVERED in this nonsense. Up her back, up her belly, down her legs. LOVELY. There was no way this onesie was coming off without it getting everywhere. This is one of those 'I warrant a both poops'. Like I said not a great way to start my day.
Now that we have covered the blow outs...let's move right along. Fast forward two hours. Put ut in our cadillac 6 foot long stroller in the baby aisle at target. As I looked at the damn product numbers trying to fulfill a few items on a registry I heard the fusiness start. Their spoons were no longer holding their interest. I MUST HURRY. But within seconds spoons, sippy cups and snack containers were being pelted passed the diapers and landing near the newborn clothes (my boys have great arms...while I hate public meltdowns I am nervous about discouraging a behavior that could potentially make me the mother of professional baseball players). I ran, picked up the items and returned to my Cadi to hurry to the check out stand. I couldn't go fast enough...I knew this. Today was just not a good day. Before I reached electronics, mind you I am in a slow jog at this point pushing 100 + lbs of children and stroller, Colin turns around to the best of his abilities smacks Brendan upside the head and starts SCREAMING! Like really...screaming. My kids don't scream like this...they did today. Both of them. As I realized I was that person today, the one that you look at and wonder "who the hell gave them the license to breed?". Yea...well, that's me and I have three of them. They screamed all the way through check out stopping breifly when crazy old women tried to talk to me when CLEARLY I didn't have the time (that is another blog for another day).
While exiting the building a mother with a young child approached me and said "You are so patient. I melt down with one." I don't judge parents of singletons. Their one child may be a nightmare and my 3 incredibly well behaved though at times demons of children may treat my sanity much better than hers. I couldn't help but just smile and laugh. I meltdown...I have my moments...but I certainly do not do it in public. What is the point of that? I have never understood the parents who yell and scream and grab and pull. That isn't me and isn't my parenting style. But, did she really think screaming and crying in public (which I would have loved to do) was going to help my situation? Oh holy heavens no. Meltdowns happen in private places. Like the shower. I find catharsis in tears and screaming but it won't happen in front of my family let alone the general public.
Today we got no where with potty training...I had to much poop on me to try to focus on keeping it anywhere but the diaper. As far as language development goes...we didn't get very far but their vocal chords are in good shape when they are ready to try and the spoon issue...but bought new utensils at Target...dinner will be the first try.
Now, I would really like Steven to get home so I can take that shower.